October 5 – Myths about Aspergers

Today is Sunday and I am cutting myself some slack today in all areas, including blogging. I have several topics I really want to pursue but I want to give them the time they deserve, so today will be a lighter post (at least I think as I start to write it).
So what some myths about Aspergers?

Only males have Aspergers…
Nope, females can have Aspergers, it often exhibits differently, so the standard tests that are used to detect it in males may fail for females. There are theories that many females feel more pressure to ‘fit in’ so they are more likely to learn coping skills to appear NT.

People with Aspergers don’t have feelings…
Nope, people with Aspergers do have feelings, just like everyone else. However, they may find those feelings overwhelming and not know how to handle them or express themselves appropriately. So they contain them and appear aloof and/or unfeeling.

People with Aspergers don’t like people or social situations…
Nope, many people with Aspergers do like people and being with them. However, they have often had bad experiences in social situations. When you cannot tell how people feel (by their expression or body language), you often can offend and not mean to do so. When your interests are different than most at a party, and your patience in small talk is nil, then you will get bored easily and want to leave.

People with Aspergers will grow out of it…
Nope, it is not a phase or condition that will disappear with time. It is a difference in thinking/processing in the brain. If the person with Aspergers wants to change their behavior and learns how to do so, then it may appear that they ‘grew’ out of it. But really, all that happened is that the person has taken on a persona that fits in better in the NT world.

People with Aspergers will never live normal lives…
Nope, many Aspergians grow up, move out of their familial homes, get jobs and support themselves. They may find adulthood easier to navigate than childhood once they find people with similar interests.

I know once I got to college, I felt better about myself. At engineering school, I was among many people just like me and quite a few much quirkier. I felt like there was a purpose now, I wasn’t treading water anymore but moving forward. I felt accepted too, and that was new and wonderful. I had never felt that way in any part of my life before then. And it is what I wish for my son as he starts to step out into the world. That he find his passion and self acceptance.


3 thoughts on “October 5 – Myths about Aspergers

  1. Pingback: The 31 Day Challenge | mjsmentalmusings

  2. As a mom of a child on the spectrum, thanks for teaching me something I didn’t know. You can learn something new everyday, but you have to look for it.

  3. Saw your link in the 31 dayers Facebook group and had to read since my oldest niece has Aspergers. Because even the medical community found it hard to diagnose in females she wasn’t properly diagnosed until she was 19. All through school my sister-in-law had her in and out of doctors who labeled her ADHD, dyslexic, depressed and other things that weren’t the real issue. My limited experience is that Aspergers is unique to each person. She’s more outgoing and tends to be a lot more emotional, as you said, being overwhelmed by them. Her community is Anime. That seems to be where she finds her level of acceptance comfort. It’s not easy for the family who have no frame of reference to deal with this. It continues to have its challenges but it has been so much easier once we had a proper diagnosis. Thanks for writing about this. No many myths as you rightly address.

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